Right now I'm feeling very teary, confused and scared of my finaical future BUt I know it can only go up from here.
It is so normal to feel all these things --- I did, with my first D and the M was an abusive one of which I really wanted to get out. It can only go up, and look how well you lived on so little and all the kids were home then. And your STBX could barely keep it together. You have your own house, you don't have to move, and if you want to move one day, you have a good asset to sell. This is a new day, a new life ---- set yourself free from all worries, breath in deeply the air of freedom and let out what's left of your fear and confusion. Okay, this is what I would do --- I would stand in my living room, twirl around and around, play some cool music, and in my mind I would say "this is mine, all mine, and H is so scr*wed, but oh well". But, I guess that's just me. At least, give him the finger in the general direction of where he lives, even if no-one sees you.
Life is awesome! I was dreaming of crying babies and kids making a mess last night, and when I woke up, I was relieved to know it was a dream. I love my kids, and I really enjoyed that time when they were little, but now it's time for them to spread their wings (and some have already and one has a year or two to go) and I can watch the show from the sidelines and cuddle them grandkids when and if they arrive. I can move on to different things that I am interested in. School starts today for me and D16. Yay!
Take care. What was that saying? "This is the first day of the rest of your life." Quite appropriate I think.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
