Update- Not much new. We have a MC session schedule for Thursday evening. Anyone taking bets on whether H goes this time? I am whether he does or not, but I think he will. Still no talking tho. I am letting him lead on this one since he was the one who said he wanted to talk more; I’m content to wait until we’re in front of the MC before I open my mouth again. (Whether it’s for talking or anything else! ) I've been avoiding popsicles for the last three weeks, don't want to start anything I don't want to finish!!
Random Observations and Ramblings: 1) Orich has spent a considerable amount of time lately pondering the reasons behind his W putting on and removing her rings. My H was the total opposite. I stopped wearing my ring in Jan., 2008 and he didn’t realize it until I pointed it out a few months ago. He failed to notice FOR OVER A YEAR!! As I mentioned to Orich, there’s got to be a happy medium between obsessive and obliviousness.
And the reason I stopped wearing my ring? I had reached the point of "F--- it" in regards to my M in my heart, even if I wasn’t ready to take action. I was starting to realize this was not the kind of M that I wanted or needed. And it wasn’t my actual wedding ring anyways; it was a cheapy replacement that I got at Wal-Mart. The original had been cut-off when I was pregnant. I attempted to get it repaired a few years ago after we had our previous troubles. Well, H flipped out when I told him that I had taken it to the jewelers. He was absolutely furious. I returned to the store to retrieve the ring immediately. I was crying all the way there and I was so embarrassed to pick it up and explain why. When we discussed the ring a few months ago, all H had to say about it was that he was in a bad place at the time, and that I could get it fixed now if I wanted to. I have no desire to; I’m the one in a bad place now. I look at the ring and I still feel the sickness in my stomach from that fight. What comes to mind is the pain, not the joy from when he first put it on my finger. Maybe I should have gotten over that by now, but I haven’t. It was a deep hurt.
2) CIPA is having big problems with the thought that his W put another guy’s d___ in her mouth. I am glad to know there are guys out there that see this as an issue, as obviously my H doesn’t. In fact, he thought it was a good for my self-esteem and ego to have the attention from another guy. He liked to be there when I did another guy, but was OK if he wasn’t. “Take the camera and bring me back some pics!” He would want to hear the details as he found it very arousing, but I told him that I prefer to keep my encounters private. He was OK with that anyways, the idea was enough for him, and he loved doing me when I got home after being with another guy. I still can’t get my head around that one. After he returned from being with another woman, I couldn’t go near him, didn’t want any info, nothing.
3) When a swinger is asked how he can give his W away to another guy, a typical response is that the couple realizes that they could never satisfy each other totally, and they love and trust each other enough to know that their partner would never leave them. Here’s a standard reply as to why a couple are swingers from a swingers board:
I have learned a lot about my s/o. Discussing sharing such intimacy forced us to really discuss issues such as trust and honesty. I have never trusted anyone as much as I do __________. She says she feels the same about me. I honestly feel that swinging has been an asset to our communication skills and opened doors that would have never been seen without it. We also learned a lot about each others limits, pleasures, fantasies, as well as love making preferences.
These types of replies felt holier than thou to me- Swingers love and trust their spouses so much more because they are willing to share these experiences together. How do you argue against that? H told me the same thing. Why wouldn’t I want to accept his gift of allowing me to sleep with another guy? He couldn’t understand it.
H tells me that swinging is a minor issue to him. Well, it’s huge to me. And I think he’s full of sh!t when he says it’s minor to him. He still checks his single male profile. His status is “Married but looking”. At least he’s honest. Good luck with that one H!! He did much better when I was along for the ride. Whatever, at least he’s leaving me alone for now. I still the bed shaking on occasion when he takes care of things himself, but at least I don’t let it bother me anymore. Again, a big “whatever”.
Can’t wait for Thursday- it should be quite a show.
) I've been avoiding popsicles for the last three weeks, don't want to start anything I don't want to finish!!
