Over the Shock and GALing 6

[Thinker]

I would consider b1tching about my family or her family to be disrespectful and rude, so I don't do it.

This is totally your right to feel, and I do respect it, actually. But you might give it a little think as respects your wife. As Coach brought out, when it comes right down to it, a healthy marriage needs that sense that when the chips are down you have each other's backs against the rest of the world if need be, including FOO. Not that it's healthy to do nothing but mutally abuse each other's famillies, either. But who else should she be able to vent to if she needs to vent?

Every family has stupid crap and bad patterns going on; is it necessarily disrespectful to acknowledge specific instances as long as things don't get hateful?

Personally, my h. and I have found it pretty enlightening in understanding *each other* better ....

Understood.

I was brought up with "If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all" combined with "Don't talk about people behind their backs"

So I now understand that my W's FOO POV is different, but it is still uncomfortably counter to my instincts