Over the Shock and GALing 6

[Kettricken]

That's a communications style thing (the "your dad is so f'd up!" etc). I don't dig it either, personally .... against all advice, right? ad hominem attacks vs. pinpointing behaviors. But in this situation, you'd probably be well-served by responding to the emotion. You don't have to agree with the ad hominem, but you can mirror back specific instances of "OMG I know, it's so irritating when he says x,y,z; I hate it when he does that too" or things of that nature.

If you're at all typical (and of course you may not be, but stick with me here; grin) you have dealt with familial vagaries by minimizing them in your own mind. Your choice, and a coping mechanism we're probably all familiar with. But you don't have the right to minimize them FOR HER. Even in an attempt to make her calmer and happier; wink. (BTDT t-shirt) Her anger, if that's what you've been trying to do (consciously or unconsciously,) is well-justified ... and counterproductive for you.