Over the Shock and GALing 6

[Thinker]

Thanks Gucci,

I understand and think it is a good approach. I struggle with agreeing with her.

She does not say ... "I don't think your dad likes me, he criticizes everything I say".....

She says "God your dad is F...ked up! He's such a .....", which leaves me saying / thinking "Back off!! that's my family you are talking about!!"

I do understand the approach you are suggesting, just have to modify it a bit.

I also can definitely do a better job of managing my dad. For example, if the kids make a mess and he is upset, he either complains loudly to the world about it (making sure everyone hears) or grumps at my w, in which case I don't ever even know it happened (until I find out later if my w tells me) I can definitely make it clear to him that if he is unhappy with something that someone in my family does, then he needs to pull me aside and say something TO ME - not to anyone else.