Believe me I have over-thought this, if possible. Point-counterpoint, if you will.
For example
1)H can give me access to his phone/h could always have another phone
2)H can give me access to his credit card statements/h could always have a card I don't know about
3)H can show me/tell me when ow contacts him/h could be selective about which messages he shows me
4)H can end it with her in my presence/they can get back together, as they already have in the past
So I know there are no guarantess here. I am looking for some good-faith actions at this point. Last August when he wanted to come back he was not willing to do the things he has suggested this time, which is a start. I will continue to view his actions more than his words and take it from there. Again, I have not asked the lawyer for my money back as I am still thinking I will probably need his services. And I haven't made mention of this to anyone in real life as I don't know if it means anything yet.
He said last night that he believes that things were good in the past (so much for my being the common denominator in his unhappiness) so, if they were good before, he believes they can be good again. Which is the basis of the solution-oriented therapy and the retreat he is scheduling.
