Back from riding madam, I dont know what I would do without her and moglet bless them.. The one good thing about riding a horse is that you HAVE to set aside your feelings for that time as they pick up on them and play there tune to suit it! So no matter how awful I feel it has to be laid outside her stable whilst I ride her, and of course the work out benefits me, keep me fit, sane and clears my head for sensible thinking! The only down side is every time I come away from the stable I feel this pit of dispair! Today I asked myself why? Its because its my haven, my ME time with friends who are loving and caring and ready to listen and administer tea when necessary, and once I leave it Im back in the real world with a WAS and too many fears which I am trying to juggle and control.. Im not going to beat myself up, I have so 180 on the panicking, and today really was a whammy and Im so glad I took the time to think about it before and prepare myself for it as it seemed almost impossible that H had a OW but most likely that he had from all the stories on here. Now he really has become an alien, MY H would never have done any of this, so I know longer know who this man is? There is still a small space in my brain for giving him reasonable doubt over this information received today, but I doubt he is going to need it.. If information gets back to him via S all he is going to hear is that mum seems fine, calm and carrying on with life as best she can, she is still looking for a job but enjoying her time with madam and friends in the mean while! In fact I am actually beginning to feel proud of myself, he might be behaving like an alien but I can still behave like a lady!
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
