It takes a long, long time to get to being trustworthy. Usually it occurs after the crisis is completely over and they've healed completely. The work then is for them to prove to you that you can trust them.
My xh has been gone for 10 years and still hasn't grown up. He's stuck and hasn't moved an inch in about 5 years. He's playing the game of being nice and sent me birthday greetings this year exactly on the proper date....guess what! He wanted something...he wanted all of the photos that we had taken on all our overseas trips, which he told everyone we never did anything, to display them on the internet. Told him he should have thought about them during the discussion of the separation of belongings. His worries back then were 72 pieces of frozen chicken and not the things of importance. I just wanted to share w/you how they can actually want to be nice and do something productive, but they have an ulterior motive in the mix.
I've gotten way off the topic. I've seen a number of spouses go through this and once they've healed, you couldn't ask for better people. The question will be at the end of the road...will you be able to trust him again?
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
