Just wanted to add that I feel the same way about my H. While I do still want my marriage, I want him to feel whole and healthy again. I think what is driving a lot of his MLC is the lack of validation he received in his childhood. It is also what I think (in looking back) that has been driving his perfectionism and workaholism which has been getting worse and worse with each passing year the past few years. I can't help but think if he is able to work through it all that will improve as well.
