The worst line offered here in the DB forums is 'don't go down cheeseless tunnels'. Dr. Phil says, "you own your marriage". I agree with him. You can't be an ostrich and stick your head in the sand. You need to know the truth.

The tunnels usually DO HAVE cheese. This forum is a great place to take back control and improve yourself. Sadly, this forum is also a place to hide in denial FOR A LONG TIME.

I mentioned one book above but the other was a pdf I downloaded that was written BY A WOMAN about those women who cheat and then drag their M's out, or, hang in limbo. It's the classic DB scenario. She will tell you that the majority of spouses (women in this case), separate NOT 'to sort things out and think things over' but because there is an OP and that they want the marriage to die a slow death instead of suffering the guilt of ending it right away.

Separation is a death knell. Not all but the majority proceed to divorce.

Sitting around and waiting....enabling poor behavior...failing to draw boundaries...and avoiding conflict....will NEVER appear attractive and draw your spouse back into the relationship.

FIB

Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11)
Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t
Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10
Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;