The adventure chronicles

[Ekie]

SOME of the ones that lose their women are the nice guys.
Some of the ones that lose their women have been nothing but jerks.

I recognize the nice guys, not so much the jerks. That should probably tell me something, and that I need to study that post of yours in depth.

The nice guys just keep doing more of the same, but the jerks suddenly turn into Mr. Mom, and Mr. Laundry and Mr Foot Rub, and Mr. Wash the Dishes etc, etc......

I remember that thread, think it was started by Steve McQueen?

[AFWAW]

Well, she emailed me today at work and apologized. She said: I have been unfair to you and I want to apologize. Please forgive me for getting upset about your lady friend and for calling you and bothering you.

Hot and cold, hot and cold just like my whole marriage has been. I still am going to press with the divorce I think. Not much else to work out except the logistics of the house and visitation for my daughter. Am I missing something? I know it's my decision but I am asking for input.

Should I even entertain trying to work this out? I usually take a long time to make a decision but when I do it's final. I did feel bad today, I know it's because of how she was feeling, I understand that and I really am a nice person. I am however trying to press forward with logic not emotion and embrace life as I should have been the whole time. My daughter is my number one concern at this point.

So, does anyone have any input? Puppy--I know you've followed along for a while and I value your input. Hoop--your insight and guidance have really made a difference and helped me to see straight. Gucci--what can I say? You know what you're talking about. You are the man! Anyone else?

Thanks so much, I'm exhausted.

[gucci loafer]

She is getting advice from others....

Goes like this..

"Back off, tell him he can do what he wants and that you will let him go" etc. etc.. (like people do on here)

then she panics in less than a day because she wonders how that last email came across to you. She then offers the standard apology because she finds someone who gave her THAT advice. (like people do on here)

then she will say.. "He will think that I don't love him if I don't try".. on and on and on..


Now that isn't working so she will try other things.. Leave you alone for a couple days or so, being your friend, saying she is sorry. Long letter listin her faults...

Gee, you read enough of the posts on here. She will be exactly like people on here are. Roller coaster of emotions trying to find something that works on you to give her a small bone to feel some hope...

IF it was me... Divorce baby.. It is over. I don't want a woman that makes a relationship so much work. It just isn't worth it. Who knows. Maybe you will get back together in a couple of years. I would tell her I have nothing left to give an proceed on with the divorce. I would quit going back and forth over it. (decisive)

[The Wifey]

Well, she emailed me today at work and apologized. She said: I have been unfair to you and I want to apologize. Please forgive me for getting upset about your lady friend and for calling you and bothering you.

Hot and cold, hot and cold just like my whole marriage has been. I still am going to press with the divorce I think. Not much else to work out except the logistics of the house and visitation for my daughter. Am I missing something? I know it's my decision but I am asking for input.

Should I even entertain trying to work this out? I usually take a long time to make a decision but when I do it's final. I did feel bad today, I know it's because of how she was feeling, I understand that and I really am a nice person. I am however trying to press forward with logic not emotion and embrace life as I should have been the whole time. My daughter is my number one concern at this point.

So, does anyone have any input? Puppy--I know you've followed along for a while and I value your input. Hoop--your insight and guidance have really made a difference and helped me to see straight. Gucci--what can I say? You know what you're talking about. You are the man! Anyone else?

Thanks so much, I'm exhausted.

It would not be easy or simple to work through this, but it would be doable if you were both committed to doing so and had competent counseling.

But, I firmly believe that no one can tell someone to be done. And, if the person decides that they are done, then they should be supported.

Sorry, I can't flip the coin to decided this, but think maybe you could sit down with W and a C and just explore where you are. Or maybe just you and a C? Six months does feel like an eternity, but compared to the years you have left in your life, its only a heartbeat.

[marriedCrazy]

John, you have made very salient points for getting a divorce. You and I have similar sitches; your wife just isn't preggers with another dudes love child. If I had to offer any advice at this point...it is get a D. She needs to work on her own issues.

My wife wanted back in; I told her that she needed to get happy with herself first. My W has never known life without a man in it; she's always needed another man to make her happy. A marriage will never survive with that dynamic; at the most, it wouldn't be a healthy marriage.

You never know what times for us; but short term you need to protect your D and show her what to look for in a mate. You are the example she will look for; even if she's una unaware that she's using you as an example. Consider that as you decide what you'll do.

Tom

[marriedCrazy]

Forgive the grammatical errors above. Typing on an iPhone is unforgiving at times.

mC

[Puppy Dog Tails]

John,

This is the one answer that no one can give you. It's intensely personal, and only you can decide if you're done or not. I myself waffled back and forth and back and forth no more than a half a dozen times.

It's a serious, life-altering decision.

I will ask you only two questions, which may help:

1. Are you still in love with her?

2. Do you believe she is a woman of quality and character, that you think can add to your life and help form your daughter's?

Whatever your decision is, I do think you need to make it.

Puppy

[AFWAW]

Ok, I guess she's going to keep on. Got a text just a bit ago that said: Please consider letting me come home. I will go to counseling or whatever I need to do to win you back. Please give me the chance I don't deserve.

It's not going to stop is it?

[Steve McQueen]

Got a text just a bit ago that said: Please consider letting me come home. I will go to counseling or whatever I need to do to win you back. Please give me the chance I don't deserve.

Just out of curosity, do you remember what she said when you said pretty much the exact same thing to her?
SMcQ

[AFWAW]

Something to the effect of it's over or too late and I'm done. You need to move on.