Journaling: Finally back at home after lots of family travels. The last day was very stressful. For reasons that I have never been able to fully determine, Mrs. Thinker is projecting a ton of anger and resentment toward my parents. We spent a couple of hours visiting my family on Sunday, and it totally changed her mood. During the drive home she made some angry comments about my parents, which put me in a bit of a bind - do I validate? or do I stand up against her (IMO unreasonable and disrespectful) complaints about my parents?
My Dad is a grumpy, messy old man, and my mom has trouble expressing what she wants and therefore ends up being passive aggressive, but they are great people. Why do they bother her so much to the point of making her angry? I can't tell whether it is just something internal that she is projecting onto my parents (the loss of her own parents, resentment toward me, etc) or if there is something there between them that I just don't see.
I have asked my W about this directly in the past, and it has always just come out as unspecific angry bile eg "Your father treats me horribly, he's always critcal of me, etc..." - my internal response "I was there. I saw it. He barely said anything. He was sometimes grumpy and critical - but he is like that with EVERYONE!!! He complained about the mess left by the kids - don't take it personally! He loves the kids, but isn't used to the noise and mess"
One thought, in some of her past "The R will never work, you will never change" rants she said "You can never change, you are a product of your upbringing". I didn't really think about it then, but she may really be combining anger and resentment about me and our M with anger and resentment toward my family.
-----
Other than the brief arguments we had over my parents, everything has been quiet and boring. No R discussions of any type. We're both keeping busy. We are back at home, and getting life back to normal - kids start school, back to the gym for me, etc.
10 days to Retro
Last edited by Thinker; 09/08/0902:05 PM.
Me 42, W 39, S8, S6, S2 M 11y, A & ILYBNILWY 11/08 Walking away from a bad situation.
