The adventure chronicles

[AFWAW]

John,
Hope you are doing well...please don't make any rash decisions out of hurt or anger right now. It may have seemed to you that this has been going on forever but it has not. There is nothing wrong with sitting down with your wife and seeing if anything is left...continue with your legal issues but...can you try to see a MC? Sometimes you just have to keep telling yourself it will get better...all relationships have ups and downs (not this bad most of the time, thank God)...something to think about...start slow with family time. Maybe it is over but you two have not been thinking the same thing at the same time yet to even try...if youtry and she is the same then wrap it up. Take care

V/R

Hoop,
Thought you were gone forever. I think I'm past the hurt and anger. Very anxious and frankly surprised by my wife's behavior. I won't date as long as I'm married and just the perception of me dating has driven her over the edge? Yet she had multiple PAs and an EA? Brings up the old saying in my mind of those that live in glass houses shouldn't throw bricks.

It was hard for me to not talk to her, very hard but when I finally did it and stopped worrying about what she was thinking it was liberating. Once she found this woman, who is just a friend, on my facebook account, she demanded through email the I remove her and add my wife as a friend. She is really in no position to make those type of demands based on her past behavior. I gave her 6 months--if you remember, I think I said something to that effect when I first started posting--that I would give her 6 months.

I don't think MC would solve our problems. She has been a very poor role model for her daughter. Remember, she told my D that she had a BF? She even went so far as to tell my D that he was very good looking despite the fact that he was 55. On top of that, she's a SNCO as you've pointed out so many times. Surely I'm not the only one that knows what has transpired and our career field is very small. Word is bound to get out with regards to her reputation. Keep in mind that none of this was my doing--she chose to go outside our marriage, squander her body, risk her career and abandon her family.

Now, I think you and everyone here would agree that I have been more than accomodating with regard to her coming back home. I have been willing to work through this for so long--yes, I know it's only been six months, however they have been the longest six months of my life. How much self respect would I have if I took her back at this point. From her actions of calling so many times and oh, I learned this morning that she has called my friend numerous times(she even called this woman's work) where it is to a point where it could be considered harrassment. I hope my wife realizes this before it is too late and starts to control her behavior.

As for me, I have embraced a new life. I clearly was not enjoying my life before. I was very wrapped up in pleasing my wife to a point where I was worried that if I was not pleasing her, I was wrong. I have embraced what Gucci has laid out for me and I must say it has been nice. I've met new people, I've joked around with everyone I know, I've been more relaxed, etc. It feels so strange as I've lived a totally different life for so many years. After my wife's actions yesterday, I see that it would be more of the same--she clearly will not be happy if she is not controlling what I do, who I talk to or who I am friends with.

Lastly and most importantly, my daughter. She is afraid of her Mom from the standpoint that she is very controlling of her. My daughter is ready for this to be over as well and I can tell it has taken quite a toll on her. She has thrown herself into her studies and her friends which is good. I don't speak to her about her Mom as she seems to get very angry when I have done so in the past. I listen to her when she wants to talk about her and when she speaks of her it is not good--at all. Based on everything that has happened, do I really want to lose my daughter's respect as well as my own self-respect?

I think the right thing to do is to file for divorce. I don't see a way to fix this or make this better and even if there was, I don't think the wife would be willing to do the necessary work at this point.

Thoughts?????Comments????