We had a nice dinner on the deck with the kids and to me at least, the night felt like old times. I knew it wasn't real, but enjoyed it for what it was worth. Then came the end of the night and I asked "where am I sleeping tonight?". The tension arrived with a bang. My wifes comment was something like "we need to figure out what we're doing. I think I'll just get an apartment". So much for her staying around for a year or so as mentioned in my last post. How the hell are we supposed to deal with their daily changes? I wrap my mind around something and prepare to work with that and then it changes.
I said nothing in response and initially went to sleep in our bed. But when my wife joined me I felt like a stranger in my own bed. She fell asleep peacefully, while I tossed and turned. I wound up going back down the futon in the rec room. Another sleepless night. I asked my wife to re-stock on the prescription sleeping pills she has. She said she would try today.
I am so lost, scared, confused, tired, angry and wracked with guilt that I don't know what to do. I just can't put my smile on and make today a good day. I must work later today and I am in sales. I have no idea how I am going to do it.
Folks...it's only been less than 2 weeks since I returned here, and I just want everything to be over.
