I decided the other day that I am going to make a scrapbook of my personal growth.
Good idea. Nice relaxing activity, while also reinforcing your growth.
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Court case on Tuesday.
Ah! Things are moving along then. Best to get through these experiences and leave them behind.
Take care.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
Yes, at a rate of knots it seems at the moment. This is the court case STBXH has called. He is hoping judge will agree with him that I have to pay more money to buy him out. I on the other hand wish for him to ratify the agreement we made 12 months ago. My court case is scheduled for 24th Sept but hopefully that won't need to go ahead if all goes well next week. That being said H has had everything go his way so far so despite the fact that my L has told me that it would be a very unreasonable judge to grant Hs case I'm not counting on anything until it actually happens.
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
I'm in court this afternoon to fight over the financials. Logic suggests that I have a good case but logic has not presided over any of my sitch so far and so to be honest I'm not very optimistic.
I've been and had my hair cut so that I look fabulous. I know H will power dress so that's exactly what I'm intending to do as well.
So far none of my kids have wished me well. That hurts. Big time.
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Hon, I doubt that your kids wished him good luck either. it is hard to be caught up in this and they probably just want to steer clear if they can. We are all wishing you good luck though!
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Thank you for the good wishes. It is done. It ended up costing me an extra £10k but if we hadn't reached this agreement today I would probably have found myself in court several times over the next 6 months so at least this way it is now all over. He can apply for absolute as of 30th September. After that I can move on properly.
With all his debts he won't have much left out of £40k to put towards a house for him and whoever else he thinks will share it with him.
He used a barrister today whereas I just used a solicitor. His barrister told my L that STBXH was a very arrogant man! Turns out barrister is one cool cookie though b/c the court order says the money has to go to Ls first cos that way they get to take thier fees out of it first.
I haven't won but in the grand scheme of things I haven't lost either.
Right now I'm feeling very teary, confused and scared of my finaical future BUt I know it can only go up from here.
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
ACJ You have very positive priorities that will help you create a sound financial future quicker than you fear. The Xs on the other hand are very worried about tending to their immediate priorities, Spoiling Themselves. In their mind, it is finally their turn to do so. They fail to admit the immense sharing that made up the many years of M, before their reality became mush.
You are right. There are rarely any real winners in a settlement, as you have witnessed here over the years. There are only Survivors, and that is certainly no small matter. Think of the many emotional, personal, and of course financial challenges you have Survived. These have prepared you to move from Surviving to Conquering. Congrats on that.
Right now I'm feeling very teary, confused and scared of my finaical future BUt I know it can only go up from here.
It is so normal to feel all these things --- I did, with my first D and the M was an abusive one of which I really wanted to get out. It can only go up, and look how well you lived on so little and all the kids were home then. And your STBX could barely keep it together. You have your own house, you don't have to move, and if you want to move one day, you have a good asset to sell. This is a new day, a new life ---- set yourself free from all worries, breath in deeply the air of freedom and let out what's left of your fear and confusion. Okay, this is what I would do --- I would stand in my living room, twirl around and around, play some cool music, and in my mind I would say "this is mine, all mine, and H is so scr*wed, but oh well". But, I guess that's just me. At least, give him the finger in the general direction of where he lives, even if no-one sees you.
Life is awesome! I was dreaming of crying babies and kids making a mess last night, and when I woke up, I was relieved to know it was a dream. I love my kids, and I really enjoyed that time when they were little, but now it's time for them to spread their wings (and some have already and one has a year or two to go) and I can watch the show from the sidelines and cuddle them grandkids when and if they arrive. I can move on to different things that I am interested in. School starts today for me and D16. Yay!
Take care. What was that saying? "This is the first day of the rest of your life." Quite appropriate I think.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
I'm glad to see that the hearing is over and done with. No matter what happens, you are going to be okay. He's too busy worrying about today and spending money to make himself and the other one happy. You, on the other hand, will come out ahead because you are using your knowledge, skills and abilities to keep ahead of debt, etc. You will be okay once things settle down.
I'm very glad to see that you appear to be okay.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
