I'm new wondering if this works...

[BigJohn]

He claims his lawyer told him not to go to therapy until legal separation claims are filed so that it doesn't look like reconisiliation. I am also going to debate this with my lawyer.

Sounds like you H's attorney has his best interest at heart.

I may call his bluff and tell him let's get a D after talking to my L. Then I'll say that is what I was recommended to do and he can't blame me - like he always does.

Hope, wait until you are fully informed and you have a plan in place before you make any ultimatums to your H. Once you and your attorney have decided on a course of action, break things down for your H. Don't bother bluffing- decide in advance what your decision is going to be and stick to it regardless of what your H says or does as your H will likely think you ARE bluffing and will try to call your bluff.

Meanwhile, I'm looking at myself and being the best wife I can be. He'll see what he's missing.

Exactly.