Here's what you need to find out, first and foremost....IF you agree to this separation, does that legally allow him to date other people?
I ask this because in my state, once someone files, they can date, screw around, do whatever they want because in the state's eyes, they are basically single and are no longer in the marriage officially since they filed. HOWEVER, if they are still married, no filing, and they have an OP, that's marital misconduct and should it go to divorce the spouse that was not involved with an OP or another relationship is going to be able to take the cheater to the cleaners.
Your H may already know this, hence he wants the legal separation, and if that's the case, do NOT agree to anything legal. Keep the ball in your court, which in case you don't realize, you do have.
Now, you maybe saying, I don't want him to stay in the marriage because he's afraid of going to divorce court against me. Fine, yes that's not a good reason, but you need to buy time.
It doesn't matter why he stays, just that he does. Then you have the time to create the best relationship you can....so that in the future when he has stayed in it, it will be for the right reason.....basically, the ends justifies the means. Understand?
Do NOT agree to this legal separation.
What's more, I'm not sure he's convinced he wants a divorce.
And yes, he's going to do everything he can to make you the crazy bad wife to justify to everyone why he's trying to do this. Stop fighting with him, NOW. Do NOT give him more fuel.
You can do this. You just need to calm down and I can't remember who wrote down what you needed to say, but I agreed with it. It was beautiful and perfect. No, you can't kick him out but you can send the very clear message you don't share.
More than once, I told my H, "You think you can do better than me? What are you waiting for?" I've said this in more recent days....not in the beginning when I was a scared idiot. Before I found DBing. I wish I had said it to him the first night, but neither here nor there now.
You can do this. You can turn this around. Your ability to stay calm and install the filter is going to be your greatest weapons. (The filter is installed between your brain and mouth. Don't say what you really want to say out of emotion, pretty much say the most unexpected, calm rational thing you think of....basically the opposite of what your emotions would say.)
No legal agreement....if you can help it. Find out why from a legal stand point of why he would want it.
