How do I keep from screwing up??????

[stephanie]

It is hard not to talk about the R because that all that is swimming through your head. Today is the first full day of my seperation and I will say it is the hardest worst day of my whole entire life. Nothing has ever compared to this pain. The void inside me runs deep. I did mess up today. I went to him on 2 different occatons and asked for a hug. To make it worse we are doing an in house seperation. It is in my face day in day out now that he and I are not acting as husband and wife. I will survive though. we set ground rules and one of those is we act as friends and we dont talk about R. If it happens to flow back together then it happens, but I am hoping beyond hope that it will. We had a good family dinner though and I do feel like I am freer to be myself around him and I am not tiptoeing around anymore. and he says he does not feel as stressed anymore. Maybe this could work for the better. Give us a chance to get back to basics. Back to friends. It is just scarier then hell to be here.