First of all - Happy Birthday!!! It sounds to me like you are doing the right things and that's probably why he wanted to have dinner with you - he wasn't anticipating any pressure. However I also think you are asking the right questions - is this really someone you want to be with. I don't know your whole story, but I do know that you can't change someone, they have to want to change themselves. If your H had a history during your M of being irresponsible and hanging around single guys who are just interested in partying and getting laid, then why would you want that in your life.
You're right you can't control him - nor would you really want to would you? However, you can control you and what you want in life.
