Moving on with my life!

[Startingover2]

I have heard of that drug and even suggested that. Problem is, exh doesn't think he has a real problem and can take it or leave it. Very sad.

Lets see what this week brings. He broke up with gf, but I am sure she would come back quickly if he asked. I highly doubt he will still be 'wanting his family back' today when he is clearly thinking. He knows I saw him drunk and will be trying to backpedal with that and make it sound like he doesn't really want us.

[Startingover2]

Just thinking about the weekend again. Exh said something during our discussion the other day...he said he feels like I always have something up my sleeve. That he never knows what I will do. What does that mean?

[Startingover2]

To no surprise...

Went walking with my gf just now. Exh lives very close. Baby messed in her diaper and needed to be changed. Sent exah a text saying we were going to stop by for a diaper change. He never responded. We walked by and guess whose car was there? The gf that he supposedly broke up with. We kept walking and I had to find a place to change baby.

Exh finally sent a text an hour later saying he was home! I sent on back saying we stopped by but gf's car was there...his response? YOUR NUTS!

He then accused me of talking crap about him because I was with my gf! No jerk...no need to talk crap...your actions alone speak volumes. He sent this:

"you love making me the bad guy all the time. Does it make you feel good to talk crap about me? I know I am confused, but I know for a fact I love my daughter"

What? How did I make him the badguy? What does any of this have to do with baby?

He lied...he got caught...he knows I had a witness to it and he is accusing me of being nuts and talking crap.

[Startingover2]

I forgot this in my posts too! Exh told me gf still lives with her husband.

[S.T. _I Made It!]

Yeah right...he can't be alone or faithful and I told him that. He was offended.

don't say this. these are things that cause a person who digs themselves in holes, to keep digging further. Instead, say, that would be a smart idea. or your daughters would love that. you could even add, it will be hard for you because you have trouble being alone, but I believe you can do it for your girls.

even if you don't believe it, let him think he can do it and maybe he will try. the worst that happens is he doesn't try, and that's what you are already expecting, so nothing is different.

[S.T. _I Made It!]

He dodged that question but basically said he was being nice to me so we have a good relationship for baby and he wanted to spend more time with her.

guys, what is wrong with this??? This is what we want! of course we want our real h's back, but for heavens sake, do you think him being an a$$ is going to get him to see his baby more?? of course not. so of course he's going to be nicer to have a better R and see his baby. this isn't being a jerk. now if he was trying to lead you on, saying he wanted to be with you blah blah blah, just to see baby more, and then go to court to get more time behind your back, that sort of thing, well that is deceitful, but this is not deceitful.

unless I'm missing something.

[S.T. _I Made It!]

okay, on the last post about you walking by his house etc.

we know he's messed up. he's going to accuse you because he doesn't want to look like the bad guy. when he acts like that, just let him, and leave him.

I do think he wants his family, but he's an addict. until he fixes that problem, he can't fix anything else. perhaps God allowed this new thing to happen so that you can get a grip again. I also believe he hates himself and that's another part of his problems.

when people can't love themselves and respect themselves, they can't love or respect other people. people only hurt others, when they are hurting themselves. I do believe he is hurting, but he's doing it to himself. hopefully someday he will figure that out.

hang in there, stop obsessing with him, and start focusing on your life, and baby's life.

[kassie]

So much drama, so little peace.

I agree with S.T. that until your ex stops his drinking and get sober time and a clear brain - nothing changes. Look at what happens in my sitch and my H is in recovery. Same old, same old until there is time and awareness and hard work to make changes.

(((HUGS)))

[Startingover2]

Well, pretending to be close to me to get to baby is what he was doing. If he was a stand up guy, made his regular visits, not an alcoholic I probably would be a bit more flexible on the wanting to be with her more. The truth is he misses so many visits and is always drunk I really need to keep him at a distance.

I love you guys for keeping my thinking in line!

[Startingover2]

Last night was a nice ego lift. Not sure if I told you guys about the "coach". He is my son's wrestling coach, hot, hot, hot. There has always been sort of a connection but he has a gf I really like. Anyway, I do alot for him during wrestling and he asked me to help him in another sport he is coaching right now....a sport that exh's daughter is doing. There was a parent meeting last night and exh called to tell me he couldn't make visit because of it. I said its ok..Im going too. He was a bit shocked. I ended up giving him a ride. When we got there the coach was super hot! I know exh was feeling like crap. He has accused me of something going on between he and I for months. Exh sat by me and when the meeting was over coach came and sat down by me and whispered something in my ear. He said "you are so much better than him". It made me smile. I know exh muttered something under his breath.

On the way home exh was saying its so obvious that there is something going on with coach and I. I loved it. There really isn't other than a spark and attraction and a good friendship.

He has psycho woman and he thinks I am with Mr. Hot! Oh well.