No pun intended, but your advice is right on the money. This is exactly the sort of fine tuning I need. Despite working on my listening and not trying to "fix" other areas, I think I have been trying to fix the financials. I bear half that load, but I think most of the time, she just wants me to listen and be aware of our financial sitch. Duh!
On the "schedule" issue, my W is precisely that way. She says she doesn't want to do anything special on a given weekend night (usually/always uses $ as the reason - whether or not that IS the case- another issue for us to work on) but she has a good time if we try a new restaurant, see a movie, whatever. Since the mess all started, she has not told me or shown she really enjoyed any of those types of things. More like a friend saying "yeah, that was fun.". Could just be she's not ready to show me that "room" of hers.
One thing I do find interesting is a statement she made when she dropped the bomb - she would give me a chance to show my changes but she "would not wait 6 months.". Its been a little over 4 mos and if anything, she is not running away. We'll see.
