Thanks re the house. I am pretty proud of it too. It's funny as I have felt like I have failed for a long time now but I realised that it was because I was measuring my perceived failure by my relationship, most of which I had no control over. Then I looked at what I have achieved so far in my 28 years and I am actually very proud.
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do you still love him? Is he still 'the one'?
These are very good questions and I am very divided on this one. Yes, and yes he was, but I am wondering if he has changed so much as a person that the qualities that made him 'the one' are still there. I have seen other qualities which I really don't like and while I understand people have different sides to them etc etc if we were still together then of course I would work on that however, he has been gone for 21 months now.
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Do you reckon you could forgive and forget and go forwards together again and be ok about it?
Again, good question. I guess I don't post much here about this side of my life but I date and see other people too. Maybe I view 'standing' as different? I still want and believe in my marriage (wavering slightly now I admit) but I don't believe in putting my life on hold. If Prince Charming comes along, who am I (or who is h for that matter) to stand in his way. Maybe it is time I start letting him know that instead of playing his/ our avoidance game as we do seem to do. So at the moment the answer is still yes, however his betrayal runs deep I admit.
You are right about FB being a friend thing and maybe he is just acting up on there for bravado. I was thinking the same thing this morning on the bus on the way to work. However, this side of him is there and I don't like it. If this is the only thing I see of him how can I not be put off him. I suppose I see what happens if we meet up again.
You and I disagree on the crisis thing. The signs that he is omitting scream crisis. I don't post here about how much he is spending etc etc. It all fits very well with a person in crisis. Those who knew him to have independently said that his behaviour is very odd at best.
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Or is it.. maybe you have outgrown him and deserve more now??