I'm with you EB. The separation papers, the OW, and he's showing up and being the closest and most attentive he's been since the bomb. I am so confused I feel like barfing. What is up with this?
Who knows? Good chance they feel that they haven't been in control in the relationship before. Maybe you should be careful what you wish for...you might get it. Odd are that the me againgt you dynamic has lessened.
Just as I finished writing my last post W came in. ML. Lots of kissing. Some cuddling. Talk consisted of "it's been so long, etc."
No R talk. She got distant for a few after, but didn't recoil. She just said she was having a moment.
It was nice. Unexpected. And really hot. Still don't know if it's reconciliation or just booty calls from someone who has been lonely.
Me: 35 W: 31 S:9 M: 10 years Together 13 MySitch - Ups & Downs She moved out the day before Thanksgiving 2009, over 13 months post-bomb.
She's been a little distant this morning. Said she feels weird. I sat down to listen, but I didn't ask her to tell me about it. (I have always been the one to pursue so I'm not now) I just sat. She changed the subject to what she needs to get done today.
I'm going out Jeeping with a friend.
She did make a point to have a conversation about seeing the movie Julie and Julia the other day a few minutes ago. W started telling me about how it was about a woman who was having a hard time turning 30. (hmmm..W can relate?)
She feels off today, but not distancing too much. I figured she'd distance a lot. Two nights in the same bed. ML, and even kissing last night. Still no R talk.
I'll continue getting a life. Continue without expectations.
Me: 35 W: 31 S:9 M: 10 years Together 13 MySitch - Ups & Downs She moved out the day before Thanksgiving 2009, over 13 months post-bomb.
Got home and W had been having a hard time with S. (he's a great kid but can e a handful) Hard to know if her attitude is because of me or her time with him. I don't care as much as I used to though. I am doing the best I can.
She's still talking about the stuff she needs to do to the house. Huh? aren't you moving out?...but I didn't say a word. I just gave my Boy a bath and told her I am sorry her day was challenging.
This is starting to feel like a little bit of a mind-F.
Me: 35 W: 31 S:9 M: 10 years Together 13 MySitch - Ups & Downs She moved out the day before Thanksgiving 2009, over 13 months post-bomb.
This is good. This is what it feels like when you have detached, or are starting to. What used to send you for a loop barely raises an eyebrow now.
Just stay at it. For me, there was a time where I tried to make myself detach. Then when I becaome occupied with something else, it just happened. When you get there, you'll know.
Once you are detached, it is like the worlds biggest mind-F game. But, then, you are the ONLY one who knows what the rules are. Quite an advantage.
