Well, the way I work is that if I say I'm going to commit to something, I do. I think that can probably be said for most people on this board- that's why we're here! So, I want to make sure that if I say to him I want us to give this a 2nd chance, I really mean that I am committed to doing whatever it takes, sacrificing a lot, and leaving myself open to further hurt. I could let myself make an emotional decision 3 days after I found out he had an affair, or a rational one once I can see a little more clearly. My concern is that even if he is willing to change and grow, he can't just change the way he feels about me or what he wants out of life. We want to love in two different countries- he's from Mexico- wants to go back there (since about 6 months into our marriage). I was clear from Day 1 of our R that I wouldn't live there- I guess he thought I'd change my mind? It always felt like nothing I did was good enough for him. I know he is sad to lose me because I took REALLY good care of him, and we were going to have kids soon, which he REALLY wanted. I need some confidence that he wants to be with me for the right reasons before I can let him back in my life. Not because I make life easy for him, not because he feels guilty about being a jerk and a fool. And he has to be willing to compromise on where we live- we had planned Texas, which is where his dad is and like 5 hours away from his family, and about 24 hours away from mine, and I was ok with that! But I'm afraid he'll never be happy if he can't see his brothers every day, and I've seriously considered what it would be like for me to go with him to Mexico and I can absolutely say that I would be a fish out of water. So, there's that huge issue to deal with even if we get back together. Blagh. Never marry a foreigner.
