irabbit, hello!! Your madame sounds fantastic... I read somewhere you lost 2,5 months in the beginning doing things you shouldnt. We all did in the beginning. DBing is going against your natural instict to beg and plead and reason with the person that has been your partner in life for years, hoping she/he will respond. When we finally see we are not geting anywhere that's where we turn to "alternative medicin". To me it seems you are doing great now. I was smiling thinking of you looking at yourself with your nice undies and thinking it's loss... A small thing like that shows how well you are doing.
OW... I was getting upset reading some of the old guys posts here in the beginning immediately concluding there must be another person, almost to all newcomers... Well, not anymore. I knew something was up with my stbxh, chose to ignore "her" and focus on me and our interactions. It did work. It did. After 3-4 months I think I was making so much progress... There were times I was thinking "there cant be another woman!". My gut was telling me something was off. He did a great job gaslighting me (i think that's what you call it). A month ago, I found out the truth about my H's double life. Why am I saying this? First of all, 99% there is an OP. BUT, DBing can work even then. It did for me to the point he said he wanted back a year later and "tried to reconcil some". To the point that she was pleading and begging. The result is not a happy ending for me. But we never know how things will turn out. If there is an affair,well, then you will need a lot of patience. In the meantime, live your life the best way you can. And have fun. Somehow, they all notice even in cases when there is little contact. Time is a relevant thing on these boards. Use it wisely by making yourself happy. (At some point, dating included. Although I am Greek, dont like Penelope-LOL) K
