I agree with Greek. Time to think what you're going to do. It is your choice.
I do think there are a lot of awful parts to what she's done, but I think one of them is laying the D as being b/c of you rather than the A which she is having. They always seem to do that!!! There is no justification for an A in my opinion.
On the other hand, we here are all or were long-term committed to our marriages. I do think if you want to work it out with her still, if that's your choice, she needs to drop the OM and be transparent.
I tried living with a WAS with an OP and it was hell. Pure hell. He lost respect for me, I think, and I lost respect for myself for a while anyway.
I do think it's good you know what's going on. You can stop mentally beating yourself up over this. Your W is the one who should be feeling most of the guilt at this point....
I think you really sound like you're handling this pretty well. Things will get better, you'll see. And when I found out about the A, I didn't eat for a couple months myself. I found I could drink though, so I'd drink shakes and nutrition drinks, smoothies, etc. Not as healthy as eating, but as good as I could do for a while...
