I've not posted to you before but have just read your thread. Amazing you're doing brilliantly. I feel that I'm in a similar sitch I had an EA a few years ago. We struggled on for a couple of years after my H found out. Now he's left and is having an A with my best friend which he says started after he left - I don't believe that though.
I'd still hope for reconciliation but am currently considering D
Continued rehabilitation of the guest room today. And it got down to the point where the friggen' Big Wheel and two boxes of OW daughter's toys were just in my way, literally as well as metaphorically. They're sitting in a neat pile by the front door.
They need to leave. Under the house, in H's trunk to be dropped off, launched off the back deck with a catapault - I don't care.
I will handle it casually. "SIL had mentioned getting them back to her, so maybe he could put them in his car or under the house. There just isn't room in the guest room if we want to keep decluttering..."
Yes there's a touch of anger, resentment, jealousy, etc - but mostly I feel empowered. My house, my husband, my mental space - and OW is slowly getting shoved into a smaller and smaller corner of it until she's gone.
I haven't forgotten you, blue! I'll swing by before the end of the day. I'm waiting until my head is 100% on straight before I risk giving insight or advice.
Last edited by Dia; 09/06/0907:30 PM.
The trouble with having an open mind is that people put things in it.
My sitch - Divorce Busted! http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1804137#Post1804137
Quick, put it under the house yourself and don't mention it. He will probably not even ask where it went. Why encourage him to visit her?
Hmm, good idea - let me think about that. She doesn't live here, so he wouldn't be visiting her - just dropping the stuff at her parents which is bound to be awkward for him. (Note: I *want* him to feel awkward. There are consequences for his behavior and he needs to feel them.) Rationale: I think he needs to be the one to remove her stuff from the house, not me. Kinda like it's the alcoholic who needs to pour out the bottles, not the alcoholic's wife.
BUT - I will think about what you said. Here's the risk - if *I* put them down there, more anger could fall on me for meddling vs. him doing it. I suppose I could ask...
Ok, F it. They're going under the house!
Last edited by Dia; 09/06/0907:34 PM.
The trouble with having an open mind is that people put things in it.
My sitch - Divorce Busted! http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1804137#Post1804137
He liked when you cleaned the dining room. You're just extending the orderliness to the rest of the house, one room at a time. Can't wait til you redo the master bedroom!
He liked when you cleaned the dining room. You're just extending the orderliness to the rest of the house, one room at a time. Can't wait til you redo the master bedroom!
Or when I start doing his laundry - because then I'll be putting his folded things into the drawers. That's a-ways down the road yet, tho because, well, I'm doing enough housework as it is. He can be responsible for his own laundry for awhile.
Thanks for the push, Sara!
Last edited by Dia; 09/06/0907:45 PM.
The trouble with having an open mind is that people put things in it.
My sitch - Divorce Busted! http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1804137#Post1804137
Psychology is such a funny thing. I've been working in that guest room all day. I'm hot, sticky, sweaty and dusty. I had been waiting til I finished to shower but now, having moved OW's stuff I feel so dirty I can't wait any longer!
Shower time!!
The trouble with having an open mind is that people put things in it.
My sitch - Divorce Busted! http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1804137#Post1804137
