Just in case she is reading, I won't say where she is from. Ultimately I would have loved to save my marriage to her. I see her vulnerability as weakness rather than cruelty but I wanted her to fight for me rather than expect me to "figure out" what needed to be done. To me divorce feels like the end of the world and I had fought so hard to save the marriage, but she is right, there were many difficulties before we separated and our personalities clash in the way we deal with and experience life. I have been thinking that divorce is possibly good for her as it seems we have not grown up and will continue making the same mistakes in our lives especially together. I wanted to work with her in our lives and she just expected me to "know" what I needed to do. I often feel lost and needed her patience and a lot of it but she ran out and our time apart did not rejuvinate her in fact it caused more painful events. We live far apart because when she asked me for a separation I went to live with my step mom and she stayed put until she found a job down south. When she moved, it looked to me like she was done totally and that is why I tried to experiment with moving on but it didn't free me. The woman I was involved with was always very kind to me and reminded me that I was a worthwhile person rather than attack me for my plethora of character defects all the time. I do love my wife but I think she does not love me.
