Kissak - Thanks for your note - I do check in on you when I come to the boards.....what a rollercoaster you are on... Stay strong and continue to be there for your kids. I do think of your daughter and her struggles. I wish these spouses who leave could somewhat understand what they do to kids. But that is a brick wall that I will no longer pound my head against...
Thank you, beginnersmind, for posting. We seem to have similar timelines. I hope that you are doing okay and being strong. We've come through the worst of it...right!?!?!?!
Livingalone....I wish I could reassure you that this isn't a nightmare. But, unfortunately, it is reality. I remember the pain at the beginning... Please, please, please...try to focus on yourself and take care of yourself. It is so hard, but you will get through it. My H is now focused on hurting me in any way possible, i.e. trying to obtain increased custody of the kids, telling his family to not speak to me because it would be disloyal to him, lying to friends in order to have them "switch sides", etc. I am finding out that I can absorb the "punches" a lot better now. It doesn't take me months to recuperate from one of his blows anymore, just a couple of hours. And I know that this will improve with time. I have also found that if I don't mirror his behavior, attitude and approach, I am also much better off. He continually picks fights now that he is in his anger stage. I jumped into it once with him and I won't do that again. I am in a better place when I don't act like he does. I just feel better about myself. Again - please take care of yourself. Use the boards here - these people are amazing!
Snodderly - always, always, always good to hear from you. You were there for me at the beginning and always had great advice! Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Oh, Peace. I continue to follow your threads. Where does the anger come from? I do understand it isn't me, even though it is challenging at times when so much spew is directed at me. Do you ever just look at them in the middle of a spew and think "who are you?". Never, never, never did H every swear at me when we were married. Now - doesn't think twice about it. The girls say that he swears in front of them all of the time - apparently OW does as well. I'm not a prude, but there is no need for the F bomb in front of kids. I just think they are imploding, can't handle it and take it out on the one they feel is responsible for all of the bad. Because, as you know, they aren't responsible for anything. H's spending continues, but it no longer impacts me. I know he had huge debts, but it doesn't affect me. You are right - there are blessings everywhere. We all just need to open our eyes to see them. Please take care of yourself and know that I do check up on you. By the way - did you read my other post about something that Bworl wrote. It really hit home with me - you may like it!
