I see a counselor on tues. Im glad but then again , I m a little nervous. I dont know why, I just am.
As far as his girlfirend, /sigh. I'm not sure. If he lied to her and didn't tell her about me at all. I feel like my hands are tied and there's nothing I can do. My husband is very....loving and prone to pour everything into a relationship. SO much so that he almost scared me off at first. I do it as well, which is probably why Im so hurt right now, but I take my time before doing so. I know my husband. As long as she is content he will be too. Well, he used to be that way. How can you be "VERY happy" then suddenly you want someone else? I tell every guy that approaches me in any flirtatious manner that Im married happily. SO he didn't? What went so wrong that he decided to do this? I have been trying to go over everything about the past 10 months he's been gone and we had good communication, talked things out when we got angry, did the best I could given the distance. So where did i go wrong? I couldnt go over there with him and I know he was upset about that but it wasnt and still isnt in my control. I need my dr's and hospital here. The trip would be so hard on me, and Im fragile enough as it is. I cant risk my health to be over there with him, and he KNEW this!So is that the reason? Because Im too weak to travel he just decided to get with someone else? and send that horrible letter and lie and cheat and....god. Ive always been honest with him. Always, I had nothing to hide and no reason to lie to my husband. Ok once I told him I was going to have coffee with friends and went to a movie instead, but that was just because he didnt want me having nightmares and I really wanted to see the movie. and yes, i had nightmares and he scolded me for a good 20 min.
I dont believe I married the wrong person. I love him, Im mad at him and hurt and disgusted, but deep down, I still love him. I know thats crazy with what he is doing. Im so confused and lost. and feel so helpless.
