Well, I mowed the grass. Now I am going to take a shower. Then I am going to call her, and say, is there anything you need to tell me?
Me emotions are under control.
If there's any reason to not do this, someone please respond.
Of course, the fallout of this - I imagine one of us is going to have to move out. I have no leverage about stop this, she's already filed for divorce. That's what she wants.
Hey there Bill. Haven't read your entire story - just the little bit you posted this morning about knowing where she is and should you call. My vote is NO. Do not call her. Rather, gather yourself with the time you have before you SEE her again. Make certain you are correct about the email and what they seem to be telling you. When you see her, ask her to say what's true about where she was - that you know but this is her opportunity to be a Big Girl and stand for what she believes.
If she is a Big Girl and tells the truth, time for her to leave. If she is a Peri - Menapausal Mean Girl and lies, she still has to leave b/c you know the truth and she can't cake eat on your watch.
You're sorry if she she doesn't have anywhere to go. You'll give her a chance to catch her breath and find a Residence Inn or something like that but she is going to change addresses if she is is going to sleep with other men. Big Girl Panties. Put 'em on.
Now I'm going to catch up on your story. Just wanted to get this out to you in a hurry before you HONORED her with a phone call. Don't do it.
Greek
Me45 H46 T25 M22 S21 & 19 D13 Separated and filed 8/08 Moved home 11/08
Don't do it Bill. This is a new discovery and it is to your benefit to take a little time to consider all the angles.
There are many good reasons to hold off saying anything. Once you tell her, you will lose access to your info source. More info, like about OM, might help you decide your next step.
Bill, I think about 99% of the time here, when a WAS files for a D they are having an A. And the only reason it isn't 100% is those few haven't found out yet....
Does this change anything for you? Are you 100% certain that she's having an A? If she is, then I would kick her out if she doesn't agree to stop the A and be 100% transparent with you. I wish I had done that myself. Puppy and Coach and others here know all about this. Hopefully will post here soon.
I wouldn't confront her over the phone. Needs to be an in-person conversation. If she calls you this weekend, don't answer it. You need this time for yourself.
Read your early posts. OK....this little girl has been lying to you and playing you. Remember when she told you she cannot imagine the prospect of dating and introducing a stepfather into the pic? Really????? If I understand your timeline, she has been out of town recently - before this event, right? I'd look into that, too. Sounds like she might be .... dating ..... as we speak.
Here's what you do, brother. You make a list of what needs to be done to protect yourself and your children - and you get busy doing it. Reading your posts, you are a REALLY NICE GUY. And she is so counting on that. You don't have to be an a$$, but you do have to step up and be a man who pulls in the draw bridge on your castle and insist on loyalty/honesty.
In-house separation could be translated by the cake eater as :"let me live off this dime until OM and I get the plan squared away or until I figure out how to walk away with the max or I get the nice guy to leave the house." Throw her right off guard by presenting her with a plan of your own which must include transparency or she has to go. Not negotiable. And if OM has a W, let your W know that everyone is entitled to this info.
Harsh stuff on a Sunday morning, I know. But as Coach likes to say, "You can handle it."
Greek
Me45 H46 T25 M22 S21 & 19 D13 Separated and filed 8/08 Moved home 11/08
