I'm having a weird day. Nothing W has done. Just feeling some self pity and frustration at things not moving forward. I hate even complaining when, compared to others, I shouldn't. But, that's where I am. Should be fine by the morning.
I just went in to W's room to tell her abt cheezy movie on tv. (it has historical significance for us and we're both still up)
It was weird. Comfortable. I stayed in there for 1/2 hr. Played with the dog. Made jokes. Was even a little flirty. It's true...they can sense when you're stronger. They can sense fear.
Weird to think that she's acting like this today after house shopping yesterday and telling me it was a mistake to marry me just 4 days ago.
Me: 35 W: 31 S:9 M: 10 years Together 13 MySitch - Ups & Downs She moved out the day before Thanksgiving 2009, over 13 months post-bomb.
W came into our bedroom just after I wrote the above.
"Do you mind if I come in and lay in here?"..."not at all, come on in"
We laid there. Watched TV and jokedd for a bit. ML a couple of times then laid there until the wee hours. S7 and the dog ended up coming and making one big family bed at about 3:30am. (we were still up)
No R talk. No kissing. No telling me she's saying.
She did talk body dent isn't in her spot on the ed anymore and how we need to get some things fixed around our house.
With all of that, I still don't have any expectations. For al I know she's still planning to go, but just needed a booty call.
Somehow I am still kindd of numb. Thank God, this would kill me otherwise. It helps me keep that "swagger" too.
Me: 35 W: 31 S:9 M: 10 years Together 13 MySitch - Ups & Downs She moved out the day before Thanksgiving 2009, over 13 months post-bomb.
Very good. Don't be surprised if she pulls back again. Keep doing what you are doing that is working. Eventually, when she is feeling close, you should suggest going to a Retrouvaille weekend. Check the website for dates near you, www.helpourmarriage.org.
W sat by me on the couch more than once. She even reached out and put her hand on my are for a while. She pulled me aside and scratched my back.
We watched a movie with S tonight. We playfully touched under the covers!
We went upstairs...and went to separate rooms. Oddly enough, even after all of that I am still kind of detached. Appreciated the evening but had no expectations.
Nno R talk. No talk of staying. She kept talking abt doing stuff to our house and having to cut expenses though. WTF? This coming from someone who is shopping to buy a new house?
This may be hitting a new level of weird.
Me: 35 W: 31 S:9 M: 10 years Together 13 MySitch - Ups & Downs She moved out the day before Thanksgiving 2009, over 13 months post-bomb.
