D rang H this morning and is having dinner with him tonight and staying over but that is a fairly regular Sunday night feature. S is working. Not sure what's happened between H and S today. S won't be home until 8ish. They didn't get cards or a gift for him although it was discussed.
H came by earlier to give D something she needed. I heard him ask her if she was home alone. She said no and that was it. It seems H hasn't even realised yet that I am not in contact! This is something for you Nell....because we are aware of the time since we made contact it doesn't mean they are. and don't forget that you and I have had a lot of idle time on our hands which is thinking, analysing time.....NOT GOOD!! Meantime, they've been busy at work and haven't stopped to realise that they haven't heard from us.
I hear that message Cas and it's good to have it reinforced by you - I had considered that point myself! The analysing time is not our friend!
I have been reading heaps of posts today and I keep on finding this word patience - any idea where I can get a bulk buy of that from??!!
It also struck me, when I was just making a cuppa, that it's after 3pm on Fathers Day and I had not even CONSIDERED sending H a text from the moggies! Guess I'm done with that one!!
How are you SURE that your H hasn't realised that you are not in contact?? That bit confused me slightly though I do understand about the work thing and them not having time to realise... surely when your H comes to the house he must then stop and think "haven't seen or heard from Cas in ages"??
Glad for the kids that they are getting to see H today but marvellous that they decided on no card/gift. Speaks volumes when kids do that, I would have thought!!
WAH 43; W 47 M 16; T 17 Cats 15 & 6 Bomb 27/05/09 ow 28/06/09
"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"
H doesn't care too much for gifts Nell so he probably won't be fazed by no gift. (It may give him a reason to consider why the kids did not organise to do something with him though.) The kids said, and they're right, that he buys whatever he wants for himself anyway..if he wants it he goes straight out and gets it. He's always been like that and to be fair he always encouraged me to do the same. (I didn't though-I spend more on me now than ever!)
Re H not realising I haven't been in contact-What I am saying is he's only been to the house twice since I've been out of contact. Once was early afternoon so he would have thought I was at work. The second time was today and he thought I was out. So today would probably have been the first time that he thought, "Gee haven't heard from/seen Cas for a while" and that's 13 days later. Men don't sweat the small stuff like we do and this is our project not theirs. With that in mind and the busy working week H could well be oblivious to my nc for 13 days and just be recognising it now. Hope I explained it better now.
RE the no contact I'm thinking that my H hasn't noticed either or is probably relieved. As you say it's our project not theirs.
Also my H threatens D too when he's angry and then does nothing about it. There must be a reason why they don't want a D, not sure what it is though. They've left, got OW why not go the whole way and D - it doesn't make sense. If I was the one that walked (and I nearly did) I'd want it over and done with and sorted. Maybe as the M wasn't that important to them the D isn't either?
bonny, a lawyer once said that some men don't want D cos it suits them to say to ow we can't get M cos I'm not D.
Just wondering how long the suggested time for nc is before you give it up as an ineffective strategy and secondly which is better nc or cake eating? The DB coach always said, "choose actions which bring you closer to H." Interesting concept
Just wondering how long the suggested time for nc is before you give it up as an ineffective strategy and secondly which is better nc or cake eating? The DB coach always said, "choose actions which bring you closer to H." Interesting concept
This has been on my mind too Cas.
WAH 43; W 47 M 16; T 17 Cats 15 & 6 Bomb 27/05/09 ow 28/06/09
"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"
