Thanks JCJ - your words were not wasted on me and I spent the whole of last evening thinking about moving interstate! I could do it - I know that I could but it's the same old reason that anchors me here ... fear and 'what if' - what if I can't cope. I will have cut my ties with H and then I shall have not even this shred of 'security' that I have currently. I would literally be starting from scratch - just me and the babies. Too scary in many ways - especially now. Maybe later though.
Still, thought it not too bad an idea to put out on the grapevine that I am thinking about packing up. Hoping that it will get back soon enough and see if or what reaction that brings. Probably none, or will force H's hand and then he will push me again to market the house. This time of silence is very un-nerving. I don't know what he's doing - or plotting.
Afetr reading Dia's inspiring story, I feel slightly better. Just shows that our friend 'time' can help, just as you said too. It's about working out a plan meanwhile and that all feels very threatening to me. I think that I will be able to look at things more clearly if and when I get a job. That's when the real me will return. I just know it.
WAH 43; W 47 M 16; T 17 Cats 15 & 6 Bomb 27/05/09 ow 28/06/09
"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"
