Hey Sandi, hypothetical question, what do you think would have happened if when you were a waw, you read your posts above? would it have hit home? would it have made you come around a little?
Just wondering if those post were to be printed out and 'accidently' left out...
Well, the thing about WAS is that they have to be at a point that they realize they need help, IMHO. At least, that was why I came on this board was to seek some advise and for me to have someone to talk to about what I was going through. I was not in the place that BJ's WAW is in. I was very unsure of what I wanted to do. I was in an EA when I found this board and I was given the best advice and guidance anyone could have had. Somone had recommended a book to read and I ordered it and that book was the start of me really beginning to turn around and have second thoughts of leaving my H. But I was seeking & willing, and if a WAS doesn't have that desire or recognize their pitiful condition, then I don't know that "anything" would help....like you were suggesting. If my H had tried to get me to read a book or come here to this board....it would not have worked....I don't think. The reason is b/c I would have not have had the right attitude if he had tried to get me to do that--and I would have seen it as pursuing. I also would have been angry to see "him" reading any R help.
So, it has to be up to the WAS and I believe timing is everything. God knows that if it had been reversed and my H was in an EA, I would probably have tried to leave things out for him to read, b/c that is how I am naturally turned. LBS have such a hard road b/c part of their trial is to wait for the WAS to see things for themselves. I can sure understand how you would be tempted to "help" things along, but honestly....I don't think it would work if you did that.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
