Thanks Sara, I appreciate you chiming in. I thought exactly that after I said what I did. I figured I best leave it alone and not say anymore than what I have to cause him to be more nervous We will pray and trust God to work in the hearts of this couple.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Well, I notice that they are off now. Whatever. We are talking more than usual. Can she detect already my new attitude? Who knows.
Me-40 W-41 Together-10 M-8 S-6 S-4 Bomb 5/08 Bomb 10/08 Thought things were better, was wrong. Still living together Wife doesn't think she will ever love me again.
Thanks Sandi. I'm trying not to focus on W. I can't help but notice her ring finger. She wore them this morning around the house, then took them off before we went to her sisters. This doesn't bother me as much as I thought it would. It's more of a curiosity. As I posted earlier, she was talking to me more today.
Me-40 W-41 Together-10 M-8 S-6 S-4 Bomb 5/08 Bomb 10/08 Thought things were better, was wrong. Still living together Wife doesn't think she will ever love me again.
Today was our block party. I had a good time hanging out with friends and watching my kids ride their bikes back and forth all day. I had some interaction with W. When I did it was good, we got along, she didn't talk down to me or anything. She got along ok with my folks. The only time I got a little sad was watching her dance to the dj to songs we used to dance to. She looked so happy out there dancing. I quickly tried to change my thought process and tried to be happy that she was happy. It helped. I was glad she was enjoying herself. I really did enjoy myself, though. Thinker wrote in giving advice to someone that he was attending Retrouvaille, but wasn't just waiting for it and pinning everything on it like some others here. I think it's sage to say he was talking about me. Point taken. I am trying hard to detach. For a long time I have expected a text saying I'm sorry, or I want to be back to normal. I have since accepted that it isn't coming. I expected her to come and sit on the couch after the kids are in bed and watch tv. She won't. So I keep trying to detach, keep the retro weekend in the back of my mind. Please continue to pray for us.
Me-40 W-41 Together-10 M-8 S-6 S-4 Bomb 5/08 Bomb 10/08 Thought things were better, was wrong. Still living together Wife doesn't think she will ever love me again.
I'm glad the block party was not the same weekend as Retrouvaille. You talk about watching your wife dance as if you couldn't dance with her. Did she tell you not to dance with her? Who was she dancing with? That seems odd to me. Why couldn't you just get up and dance?
As for the rings. There are many reasons a woman will take her rings off. Sometimes our fingers get swollen and the rings feel tight. Sometimes I get a rash under the ring and can't wear a ring on that hand at all. Sometimes I just want to wear a different ring. My husband has never asked why I don't wear my wedding ring. But I can't imagine that he is spending any time thinking about it either.
Anyway, I think you will have a good experience at Retrouvaille and many of these problems will seem petty to you by this time next week.
She told me she was going to go dance with her niece and her friend, could I keep an eye on the boys. I have never seen her take her rings off before, except to bed. She was talking to her brother about putting pictures from the party on facebook. I was there when she said it. She had removed me from her facebook. I didn't let it bother me. I am trying not to focus on her, I swear I am. But I can't help sometimes but think she is too far gone for us to get anything out of it. Thank you for the encouraging words, though. I hope and pray you are right.
Me-40 W-41 Together-10 M-8 S-6 S-4 Bomb 5/08 Bomb 10/08 Thought things were better, was wrong. Still living together Wife doesn't think she will ever love me again.
"But I can't help sometimes but think she is too far gone for us to get anything out of it. "
You need to start thinking about this already. I don't know if you realize how sad and needy you come across on your posts. Enough about the rings already.
If you are sounding this bad here, Retrouvaille is going to be a disaster because you are going to EXPECT her to answer a certain way. And when she starts talking negatively, you're going to be all doom and gloom and who wants to get together with that?
You have to be as if she is already gone and show her the man she WANTS to be with. Not because you're her H, but because you are the most interesting and attractive damnn guy on the planet.
That's how you do it. You need to shake things up and do something different because your R is dying a slowwww death right before our eyes.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
