I'm new wondering if this works...

[Energizer Bunny]

My W has been cleaning her own stuff out of our house lately.

I don't want a separation. Not at all. I'm sick of being afraid though. I can also see that there's no way around it in my sitch though. The more I fight it, the more she wants it (remember the see saw from the Dance of Anger book?) I don't want it, but she feels she needs it.

The more I fight it, the more she wants it.

If this is something we need to go through to get to the other side (whatever that other side looks like) let's just get it started.

I don't know your H, but I'd bet the more you
fight it the more he wants it.