Hey GG, listen Sweetie, this is hard stuff. I always say I wish that I could help people get through this part quickly so that they could get to the good part - the success of you part.
But, it is all a process and if you skip any steps, you dont reap the full reward.
So, what you are feeling is normal. What you h is saying is par for the course. We have all heard those words in one form or another.
Mine said, "I dont want to be married anymore. I am not confused, I have thought long and hard about this. I want to live my life without responsibilities for once, I want to live it for me. This is not anything you have done, you are one of the best people I know. It is about me and what I want. I do not want to work on this marriage."
Ok, so he skipped the parts he should have told me like the having an ow part and the enormous debt part but whatever...
So, I was a mess for a very long time. My friends on here could tell you that. I was spinning and crying and backsliding like a nut.
But slowly, I started to think. I started to think about me and my part in all this. I started to think about the things about me that I wanted to change. I started to think about where I was in my life and is that where I wanted to be.
And as I began to think of these things, my h and what he was doing started taking up less and less time in my head.
Now believe me when I tell you this took a long time because I am not always the sharpest nail in the box. But, happen it did.
Then I started getting a bit excited when I started seeing the changes. One change lead to another and it still continues.
It is hard work, this. But I promise you that you will be forever changed if you give yourself over to it. This is a journey I was meant to take.
Acknowledge that it is ok for you to feel sad and scared. Then, begin to do things that bring you outside yourself. Little things. Try a new haircut, eat better, exercise. Soon you will see you will start feeling better.
And then, you will begin to find happiness in other things.
So, let h blow in the wind right now. I promise you that having these conversations will not make him change his mind. He is on a journey of his own that only he can walk. Let him.
