Hmm, looks like your H has never really been comfortable with who is is, if he felt the need to control you by suggesting your friends etc? So for the first time he is trying to deal with self esteme type stuff, hard the first time to go through. And he is possibly making progress as you may be seeing positive changes in very small steps? When you said he saw nothing, that was what I was saying about the horse runing away, he was looking away Cat, thats why he did not see. Now he is actually looking towards you. Its not personal, its where he was looking.
The cycle between Depression and Withdrawal. Depression is supposed to be supressed Anger, so the Depression stage I see as being stuck in the processing of the problems. Withdrawal is the working on the problems, or working on stuff, so foward movement. So work on something, get stuck, frustrated, then work again, repeat. I read a quote in a very old post that said something like when they seem to be doing nothing they are building up the steam to get them over the next hurdle. So they are currently working on a big piece of the puzzle. Probably crap, but helps with the patience for me!!
The drinking thing, see how he comes out the other side before letting, what level it is there before deciding on your course of action hey?
Pre crisis my H had avery good self awareness of himself, impact of his childhood on his life etc. He has currently lost that completely, very interesting to observe. But I wonder if that means it may be easier for him to process what is happening to him once he gets to that stage? That would mean withdrawal would be ok, and is seems to be moving thorugh in very small steps at this stage. His biggest problem is being happy with choices he makes, once he cracks that I think a lot will fall into place. An acceptance thing. Be interesting to see what he thinks he needed to sort out !
