Sorry I haven't been available for anyone lately. Thanks for stopping by my place to support. Trying to catch up with your sitch. Seems to me that your emotions are spinning in many directions which is to be expected. However, as a goal oriented person that I suspect you are - you know that nothing happens unless you set a plan in motion to accomplish it. Without the plan in place and taking steps toward that goal - nothing will change. If you want a particular outcome, stay focused and move forward - ask for what you want. H will either respond either y or N or wait. The ball is then in your court as it always has been. Then you can decide that if you get the response you want - good and move forward gently. If you don't get what you want - let it go peaceably. I think too often here, people think we should be able to get what we want or be able to force the other into what we want. (just as much the other is thinking)But the choice we have realisticaly are: 1) getting what we want, 2)not getting what we want, or 3) compromising between the two which is how real relationships work. So you can either accept that or not. It is just another way of looking at the world. A second word on thoughts and feelings... neither one has all the answers - in therapy the job is usually to find a place where we can line them up and take action from that vantage point. Otherwise, decisions based on one or the other often leave us wishy washy and unsettled. Hope this helps.
