25yrsmlc, I appreciated your post so much, I saved a copy so I can refer to it frequently. I am like Kevin in that I believe God can heal my M. I can't do it but He can. At the same time, I want to live my life and become the man God wants me to be and not some milquetoast version of myself (as I now see myself). I am so worried about making the same mistakes I made in the past that could have contributed to my Ws departure that I am making new mistakes that are equally unappealing. I admit that I "hide" at home and other places that are safe from the possibility of a new R starting up since I am incredibly weak when I am around the fairer sex, especially one that expresses an interest in me.
(I apologize Kevin for asking this in your thread) 25yrsmlc, would you please read my last post in my current thread and provide any recommendations that could help me move forward in a positive sense? Yes, I will still want a Christ-centered life but I don't see that as being in opposition to what I am asking and that is to live my life while I let God work on my M.
Just checking to see how you are doing. 25 would you be able to check my thread out and give me some advice. You sound like from what you are telling Kevin very good at this DB and I'm somewhat like Kevin as far as having a hard time detaching.
Kevin is a good person and if it wasn't for him I would have done all the wrong things in God's eyes. He gave me the site for rejoice ministries.
Make yourself happier. I hear so much loneliness in your posts and filler time. You have to create a happy life for yourself. WE ALL DO. Happiness does not just happen. I think it was Aristotle who said "Happiness is a virtue." It's also attractive, and it models something crucial for your d's.
It is true that I am lonely without my kids. I didn't even want to go home last night. I ended up going out with some friends. But that is like you say "filler time". The AA I feel like is for me, but it is not a passion of mine. It is something I do because I need to do it. My coworkers were saying that hunting season started. But I would need to buy the equipment and I have nobody to go hunting with. I am starting to think dancing is not for me. It is hard to take a class right now with the girls and our schedule. I am trying to think of something.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
You are a great guy Kevin. Thanks once again. I can't seem to stop thinking about everything all of the time (24/7). It's going to be 10 months already (which also seems like a life time), and I think all of the time and I'm so darn lonely.
This is the first time also that I have not been in a relationship or married for over 25yrs. Not use to it at all, being alone.
I also sometimes won't go out either because I'm afraid I will be tempted due to the no contact thing and being so lonely.
I know the feeling. I have kind of limited myself in social settings also because I don't want to be tempted.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Go fishing!!!!!!!!!! It doesn't cost much and you will have a lot of fun.
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08, S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012! Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.
Walmart fishing license is $30. Then a fishing rod and something to dangle in the water. I could go bass fishing. It is an idea. I'd really like to go hunting. But that gets kind of pricey. And it is more fun to go with someone you know.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
re-read the posts that we sent you last spring and summer. There were at least a dozen ideas that cost little to nothing. I just posted that to you and it's obvious you didn't do it.
As for what is tempting you, I assume it's OW and that you think dancing with one will lead to something. I do a lot of theater and it's never been a problem to have a "love scene" and mix it up with real life. You just do it.
I think you're very very lonely as you admit. To "cure" that, you need friends and to have friends, you have to be one. Volunteer for something or take a class in something and help others, and again,
RE-READ the earlier posts. I want to post to others now so it's sort of a drag to have to repeat myself. You have the information on your thread. In fact you have ALL The answers already on your thread. K4, you stop yourself so much. Just read the excuses you have the past one day for not GAL more, and then enlarge it over time to see how you've slowed yourself down in progressing...
Take charge of your life. This isn't complicated. Don't be weak. Don't preach. Just take charge of your life and happiness. You once said that you had a hard time "manning up" b/c you "never had to before"....so it's long overdue, don't you think? You know, you really can do this. The question is "if /when" and that is entirely up to you.
j-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
