How long are you going to keep tolerating your husband treating you like he does and you still keep believing that the way you are handling it is going to work?
No matter how long or what the actual facts are showing?
He's got a point Wifey. He still feels pressured and guilty and loves you like a sister. Meanwhile, the time nears when he can file for divorce after the requisite time separated. tic toc . . .
Look for yourself at what happened on those occasions when you backed way off, were not transparent, and gave him some reason to wonder if you would always be right there. He moved towards you.
He told you straight out that he wanted to be the pursuer. Let him. Don't deprive him of the pleasure of winning you.
Dudess you are exactly right about him needing to be the pursuer. He does the asking, he sets the days and times to get together. I don't ask or contact him as a rule. And, I am not always available when he does ask.
I'm doing my thing. Taking care of my dog, my house, and my own head. I've gone back to school to get my masters, and a state certification as a school business administrator. I love to scare the fish and can pull out a dozen or better on a trip.
As for the tic - toc, he never filed for the legal separation. The clock hasn't started toward a D yet. I haven't stopped him, but I also haven't enabled him. His reason for not filing, he said was because he wasn't sure it was the right thing to do. I can't speculate any farther than that and really don't spend any energy on it.
If you can advise me what I do wrong, what I should consider doing or not, I really am all ears. I continue to work on me and grow and learn.
Just because I don't get on and journal my every waking moment, I hope no one assumes I am sitting at home pining away. I don't share everything because I don't have the time, and I also don't find it necessary usually to focus on the minutia of every nuance. I'm out seeing and doing and experiencing.
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08, S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012! Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.
