hey ashlee, thanks for checking on me, nice to know someone cares.
Yes, I think counseling is going to help me a lot. Not just with this situation with my husband but also the medical and physical problems Im having right now. Im always so tired and hurting, physically and emotionally.
I really tried not to react at all when he mentioned the gf. I'm having some issues tonight dealing with the knowledge that he's right now with her. Hurts so much that I havent seen him in 10 months and she is with him.
As for him trying to convince me its over or himself. I didn't think of that. He said it REPEATEDLY. I can hope I guess.
One thing I did forget to mention is that we talked about a couple of songs that I had written and was working on, he asked what they were about and I told him what I had been going thru the past month and offered to let him read the lyrics or send him a file. He said that he knows they are probably good but he couldnt handle reading or hearing them, that he felt bad enough for what had happened and couldnt handle it. I just said "ok". Thats the first time he hasnt wanted to listen to my music, altho he's right. One of them made a couple of my friends cry.
So , while I am feeling better, a little anyway, some times its worse than other times. I have to just go day to day . Every morning I wake up hoping he has come to his senses, but of course he hasnt. I dont know how all of you do it for months on end. Im only a little over a month into this and feel like Im losing it sometimes. I just want my husband back and to work all this out somehow.
Thank guys, Dusk
Oh yes, one other thing, we did decide to make my insurance I have primary and his secondary. He is going to keep me on his insurance for now. He didn't really go into anything else tho. Wanted to know what the Dr's said and how badly I had relasped. At least he asked about me tho and seemed to care. He sounded sincere anyway. Even a touch worried. Made me feel better at the time at least.
