I do see a theme here, that is NG’s loosing their women because they are NG’s, and then failing to win them back by continuing their NG behavior. Reading some of these threads I just want to jump through the monitor and ring their necks, PULL IT TOGETHER MAN!
SOME of the ones that lose their women are the nice guys. Some of the ones that lose their women have been nothing but jerks.
The nice guys just keep doing more of the same, but the jerks suddenly turn into Mr. Mom, and Mr. Laundry and Mr Foot Rub, and Mr. Wash the Dishes etc, etc......
We don't want to thow them all into the same grup. There is different approaches to each situation depending on what has happened. MOST times the wife HAS another man on her mind. It is very rare when they don't. When she doesn't then she is usually OPEN to his changes. (what has she to lose?)(i.e Coach's wife)
When they DO.. they do what a wife like Orich has. It is apparent she is interested in someone else, but it has fallen on death ears. It must be depression, it must be her past hurt, maybe it's this or maybe it's that. Maybe if I did this or maybe if I did that. Maybe I should be more tough, maybe I should pursue, maybe I shouldn't pursue... The list gets endless with diagnosing her issues with him, when the fact is she has her mind on someone else.
People ask for help and advice and "be honest with me" tell me what you think.. I tell them.. The evidence is pointing solidly to an affair and another man...
"NO... Don't tell me that" So they say they want honesty, but they really don't. What they want is this. "please give me hope and be honest,but keep it within the diagnosis that I want it to be" Others trying to help these men, come in and enable the men to keep right on trying to diagnose a problem that isn't the real issue....
more communciation, less communication, go to counseling, don't pressure, try dating her, try flirting with her, don't say anything when she goes out, set boundaries and THAT list goes on and on...
To me it is like going to the doctor and he tells you that you have cancer and you say.. "don't tell me that" I know I don't. I will go get a second opinion. They then keep getting opinions until they find someone'(s) that will agree with their opinion.
It doesn't change the fact of what the real disease is, but at least he doesn't have to face the real issue. Until they do, it is a futile attempt.
The evidence and facts show this because?
Because they are NOT RECONCILED after months and months wich are turning into YEARS. Why?
WRONG DIAGNOSIS... Wrong medicine to treat a wrong diagnosis. Instead of others helping by trying to get them to see it, they "feel sorry" for the BS and allow him to control the manner in which he will be treated. (no GOOD doctor would go along with such nonsense. "Ok, I will treat you for heartburn and maybe then you will be cured. (while he actually has cancer)Keep taking these Rolaids and maybe after a year or more you will be ok...???
AFWAW finally diagnosed the correct issue and then used the correct prescription not only for his wife to turn around, but for HIM to get healthy.
