Sorry you are here... it's a good place to be when you are in the middle of this mess.
Your H has an emotional affair (probably PA as well) with this woman. His up an downs, the words he is using are all so typical. I know it maybe hard to accept the connection he feels for her but ... dont deny the truth.
Read the DR and the "not just friends" books. Right now I think you are fighting a fantasy he has made in his head. I dont think there is another way to deal it than to serve him with some tough love while at the same time become the fantasy he would have problems leaving behind.
In my mind I have no doubts he is constantly contemplating if the exit is the way that would bring him closer to his dream. Old flames are always problems...
Dont expect him to be rational or fair to you or your past. He will dig out every litle thing he can remember that bothered him and blow it out of proportion to justify HIS thoughts to HIMself.
It's all standard procedure around here... How you handle it, can make the difference.
Read other's threads and PLEASE try to avoid our mistakes. Right now you need to pull back and try to find your self confidence which I am sure took a blow. The sooner you will get your balance, the better it will be for you. Stay strong, this may take a while. K
