Young couple in need of help

[Stronger]

rabbitae....if she really hated you, really wanted out, really was completely sure this is done, she wouldn't agree to meet with you esp. stay the night with you in the same bed. Do you understand that?
I have a girlfriend who is divorced, almost two years now. She didn't have the chance to DB. She came home, his stuff was packed and gone already. He took the day off and didn't tell her. Actually got dressed like he was going to work and when she left first, he changed and proceeded to pack and move all day. He said it was over, and left in less than 20 mins and refused to talk about anything. She said she didn't see it coming...but in further conversations, she did but was in denial. They saw each other three more times...once to serve her with the papers, once more to complete their taxes and again when they signed the divorce decree. He would not take her calls. Only communicated with her via email, no texts, no calls. She had to leave voice mails or email him back. And he NEVER called her again except once....to let her know that the dog he took (they had two) was sick and that was a 30 second conversation.

My point is this: When someone is done, they walk. And I know in your case there are kids....but there are ways to be done with kids too and only deal with each other as it relates to those kids.

She's not done, but you still have MUCH work to do. Stay calm. Stay the course. Keep up the good interactions. When there's backlash--BOLT. Say "I had fun last night, hope you did too. I'll see you later. I'll call if I need too." And smile and leave. Make her head spin. And if you know the back lash is coming, get out before she can start it.

You are doing so so well!

[sumguy27]

Yeah I figure that enough. If she really was done then she wouldn't come out with me. She would have gotten her own insurance, cancel my line, and not have any contact with me but just straight talk about the kids.

[Stronger]

Just stay the grown up course. Be nice, be fun, be relax and don't "try", just be.

When you feel the backlash or expect it, get out before if you can.

[sumguy27]

OMG what the hell is her problem today I didn't even bug her all day.

W:
Look we need to just cut all ties wid us okay. I don't want to be hanging out wid u making u think that I still want to be with you. I honestly n truely just want to move on. So as of now it its not about the kids then pls don't contact me. Sorry to say this but I'm tired of people giving me [censored] n u going around saying [censored] to them. So just stop it already in this will be the end of it.

M:
What are you talking about?

W:
Everything ok...I only hang out wid u as a friend but you think more then that. We are not at the same level. Plus ur always calling my family saying wateve you say to themn there always asking me whats going on n really I don't want to get back and work things out. So thats why I need to cut all ties wid u for good. Because now I'm at fault for leading you on.

M:
What is going on with you today? Why the sudden outburst?

W:
everything, eva1, n u I just need to be left alone. Let me be n live my life

m:
Why are you yelling at me? I didn't even bug you today. Who talked with you and what is going on?

w:
I'm not yelling at u I just want to set things straight


Are you freaking serious? What the hell?

On another note. I tired talking with a Pyshic today. She was really really accurate with everything. She says there is no one else or not a guy in the picture but her in her words "who is this bitch with her? She is making her make all these bad decisions." I said its probably her best friend. I was stunned. Because her friend has been feeding her a lot of junk.

I guess with things are going I will look at getting a lawyer and take full custody of my kids. I don't want them to be around alcoholic immature mother who just wants to party and live the single life.

[MrBond]

She wants one thing...space.

So give it to her.

Tell her something like...

"You know, I was thinking the same thing. You have been hanging out with me too much. I'm going to let you get your own thoughts and act together.

Sorry gotta go. Take care."

Then just turn off your phone. The thing is that right now she's gone. If you argue with her to come back which you've been doing, she's going to push away even more. So do a 180.

You have to get the control back in your side. You can do it.

[Stronger]

Stuck is right on.

And if you are talking to family....stop it. Stop it right now. If I were her and you were talking to my family, I'd be pissed pissed pissed. Leave everyone out of it.

[sumguy27]

Oh man I ruined last night. My friend was throwing a brithday party for his daughter. We both showed up and things weren't so bad. We didn't talk much but I kept noticing her text to a bunch of different guys. Which or course annoyed the crap out of me.

Towards the end of the night my friends and I went downstairs to karoake. I have been drinking heavily and I should have stoped. She came down and usually comes and listens to me sing. I started to dedicate some songs to her. She ignored me and I remember just getting mad. I knew if I didn't leave things would go south. I told her hey I'm gonna go home. And I don't know how it started there. I just remember one of her friends, who is like a little sister to me said"your like my ex!"

That's when things got worst. I hate hate her friends ex boyfriend and so does everyone else. He was physically and emotional abusive,ruined her apartment,broke her windows in her car, and he cheated on her many many times. He is those guys who have a big mouth and talks trash to everyone.

I guess it didn't make the situation better. I was stuned because I had protected this friend from her ex a bunch of times also. (She's like my little cousin.) She started to raise her voice at me and I started to raise mine. Next thing I know I have 2 of my guy friends holding me down to calm down. She left and took the kids home. I just had no control on myself.

I quit drinking that's it. I was doing so well untill I was drunk. I regret doing all that because I know if I hadn't been drinking I would have been more cool and more control.

Wonder how today is going to be.

[cpfullofhope]

Ya, drinking and strong emotions don't always make a great impression. Especially when the kids are there. Just take a step back, reevaluate and get back on track. I might even apologize for my behavior with her and the friend. Even if you don't think you were wrong, you probably handled it wrong and that would be a way to show you are "growing up".

[sumguy27]

Yeah I know I was wrong. I was doing so well! It seems like every time I do something good and take a step forward I take 3 steps back. I should have not gotten so drunk to the point where I blacked out. I had to call the friends and ask them what happen last night?

I felt like such a fool. I gathered all of my liquor stash and gave it away. Went to the fair today with some other friends and they were asking me to just have a few rounds with them. I told them no. It felt good in a way because I feel they actually saw that I was very serious about not drinking.

[sumguy27]

I found her password. Found pictures of her and that fling. I'm crazy right now.