Alone, Lost, Unloved & Deserve Better

[Livingalone101]

I am not sure that I understand fully why I called the guy after so many years other than I was lonely and feeling unimportant but that being said I should have been able to tell my husband what I needed.
Whats done is done - he has no forgiveness - he can make mistakes in his life but I can't - he has the upper hand now.

You know I thought we were happy with the exception of some issues but its funny when you back away from the situation that you see far more there than you did before - the worst is that he doesn't see anything but it was my fault and I created this myself.

I am sorry you are going through this also and living together as strangers has got to be even more hard. I can't imagine. We all deserve better than this, I hope that if my marriage isn't healed that I can some day find someone who will love me unconditionally and not shut me out, be able to open up to me and I want to be happy. I know I have alot of great qualities in me, , its my husbands loss, he will never find another person to love him as deeply as I do and he will never find another that will treat him so good and I feel sorry for him because it is my gut feeling that years from now he will kick himself for letting me go and it will be to late for us. I am already writing the ending to our story it sounds like, I just know I have been to good to him to deserve this.
I wish there was a group to go to in this area to help me through this, I have no close friends I felt alone until I found this website and am so glad there is people who care here.
Thanks for all your responses, keep them coming it helps me get through each day.

Well there also comes a point where you look in the mirror. There was a reason you made the call. There was a reason you kissed him. But there was also a reason you pulled back. There were clearly some things missing in your marriage otherwise the need would not have been there.

Everybody deals with issues differently. Not going to condem what you did. I think when the day is done, you did the right thing. Living a lie isn't going to make your life better either. Sounds like your husband was looking for an out as well. There were things wrong in your marriage, you were just afraid to look under the hood of the car to see what was really wrong.

We all deserve happiness in our lives. Doesn't sound like you two were really happy. The one thing I realized in my marriage is that we never developed an intimate enough of a relationship to really share our true feelings. Otherwise, we wouldn't be in this position today. My wife obviously wasn't happy. I guess I was kidding myself to think she was. My wife is out again tonight. Probably another 3am night for her as I take care of my sons doing homework, taking them to football practice, making dinner, doing dishes, putting them to bed. I do know if we get back together, I want it to be right so that we both can be happy. I am willing to try, she is not. I don't know if she ever will. I won't wait forever, so I have to get myself ready if I have to go it alone. This place also helps you do that. Make sure you get a good therapist. It helps.

I'm scared too. We all are of being alone. I haven't been alone in 19 years. As I said, the first few months will probably be the worst in your life.

Have a good night.