Met with a writer friend last night, feeling very productive. We're developing a project together. He has a GF so it was fun, safe and informative (guy perspective)... then went to a movie with H
it was odd, so detached. I felt really neutral and relaxed but I think it is sort of like hammering nails in the coffin to be together in that space...I mean, so dispassionate.
I think the tiny part of me that thought maybe he'd sweep in and save us from going all the way (me moving into a new, smaller place with kids and out of our home, filing legal docs etc.), is now pretty much dissolved. But, who knows?
This is a very odd, mature but unromantic place to be. Ahhh, growing up is hard to do.
And here I thought you were just looking for the right time & place to dig a hole and bury him in the desert somewhere but you needed a whole bunch of lyme for the job ;-)
I think going out wasn't a bad thing, a movie was probably safe for the 2 of you, you didn't have to talk much, just sit in each other's company, hopefully it wasn't that painful.
I liked hearing that part about you going to the movie with your "H"
i'm sure it was odd & uncomfortable, you're both "guarded" against each other, ready to defend yourselves at a moment's notice from the other person's possible attack so it feels very strange having to sit beside each other and be... quiet.
And guess what... you survived to tell us about it.
It definitely wasn't a bad thing.
If you're expecting sparks, romance and explosions to happen... don't. That's alot of pressure on you, him and right now you both should have zero expectations, that way anything above the zero baseline is a pleasant unexpectant surprise.
