Hello everyone. I thought I would check in and give an update. Wow. Im feeling MUCh better after some rest.
Had some drama come up last night, not too bad but ended up talking to my husband for almost an hour. After his initial screaming at me. (still not sure why) we talked about insurance issues and my medical stuff and how we were going to handle all that. He then brought up his girlfriend. He even told me her name, and SHE is long distance as well altho she is only a days drive away. He said she is good to him and that we were in the past and that he still cared for me but it was over. I stayed VERY calm. (go me for DBing) and tried to change the subject. He said no less then 4 times that he was sorry for how he did things but we were in the past, he still cared for me and thought of me once in a while, but it was over and he wanted to be friends. ( i truly wanted to choke him but stayed calm) I tried to change the subject again, and AGAIN he mentioned we were in the past and he would always care for me and wanted to stay friends. He said she made him happy. (grrr) and that I should find someone that I can see on a regular basis that makes me happy. I told him that I wasn't that kind of girl and that I was MARRIED to him. He said he was sorry but it was in the past and he felt bad about how he handled it and one day he would tlak to me about it when I wouldnt rip his head off. he also said when he thought of me it made him smile, but everytime he mentioned this kind of thing, he would say , it's in the past. I did NOT mention that it was going on now , nor did I get upset ( i was so proud of myself) I tried to stay off talking about us and HER but he mentioned it so many times. He finally tried to end the call then said he was leaving this morning to go see her. ( i died) I told him to have a safe trip (dying inside mind you) and he said thank you, i will. end of conversation.
So while i know i shouldnt have let him keep bringiung us an dher up, he just insisted on it. No matter how many times i tried to change the subject. Any thoughts? What is he doing? Was he tryiong to make me jealous? I didn't act jealous, i promise, i was sooo calm. but it was sooo hard. I wanted to choke him, honestly.
Im still hurting over all this, but Im also trying to get better and NOT think about it all. Oh yea, he said he would chat with me mon when he got back. I didnt answer him. Should I? Gonna be a long weekend knowing he is with her./ Why did he feel the need to tell me???? I didnt need to know that.
Ok, I have an appt to see a counselor tuesday. Was the soonest I could go, with all my testing and other appts .
