thanks. That's what I've basically realized - until her parents are out of the picture (which may happen - before this, they were enjoying their retirement by traveling the world - myabet they'll get sick of 4 young kids wearing their 60+ year old selves out and decide to head to Paris for a few months - well, a guy can hope).
I just need to try to be available for the kids and see what happens.
As much as possible, I'm going to save up money here, and hopefully sometime within the next year, I'll be able to relocate to AZ so I can be near the kids. I've already started applying for jobs there, though the soonest I could start would be January, and my PhD makes me overqualified or misqualified for the few available jobs in that area (though I will probably try and get a job near, but not in, the same town as where she is now. If I move too close, she may panic).
Me: 35 W: 31 D10, S7, S2, S11 months M: 11 years Tricked into separation. In Last Resort.
My story: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1800530#Post180053
